Makin' an ass outta you and me.

Want to ruin my day? Well then send me this email:

Attention: Tweets, (what, no Dear?)

Your account is 35 days past due. If you have overlooked your bill, please mail your total amount due at your earliest convenience to avoid possible negative credit reporting, or to make a payment online through our web-site. (this is officially where I blacked out from a giant ulcer erupting in my stomach, oh the pain)

If you are unable to pay your past due balance, you can complete and return a General Forbearance to clear up your delinquent status. (What the hell I thought I was in forbearance)

You can then resume your scheduled monthly payments. (Oh, of course I can)

Sincerely, (Sincerely my ass, why don't they just sign it "Send the Check you Dumb Bitch?")

Your Direct Loan Servicing Team

No, no thank YOU.

Notice how 35 is in red. That makes me want to cry. Apparently when I asked for a forbearance because I didn’t have a job and was moving to a new city and all, the lady I spoke with only put my account in forbearance for a month. I SWEAR she said that she was putting the loan on a general forbearance and that if I wanted I could fill out a deferment form that would put the loan in deferment so it wouldn't gain interest. Otherwise, it would stay in forbearance and gain interest, until I called them to take it off of forbearance. But according to Direct Loan, I am a big fat idiot because nothing of that sort took place. So much for assuming I knew what she was talking about. (Title. Post. All make sense now. That's called going full circle, folks.) I also remember getting off the phone thinking, gee she was nice. That bitch.

So now I owe them 305 buckaroos. Sweet.

But on the bright side (Department of Education's words, not mine) they didn't report this to my credit report, they only do that after sixty days. Good because, you know, I would hate to be turned down for a credit card.