As a refund for the purchase of the song "Come Clean." Repayment is expected in full. You can make the check out to Tweets.
I am here to report the song as completely devoid of any musical talent, and thereby defective.
Specifically, at the 1:35 minute mark where you, Ms. Duff, proceed to do a Mexican hat dance on every musical note on the scale (inventing new ones along the way) causing me, who was once labeled lovingly as tone deaf, to scrunch my face in a way once reserved only for people who insist on still quoting Napoleon Dynamite. Then there's the 3:35 minute mark in which your song becomes the most overproduced piece of music EV. ER. And I know a thing about overproduction, I owned a NKOTB album.
Fret not Hilary, I'm not just pointing the finger at you I'm also blaming MTV. Because on every Monday at 10/9 CST they allowed this song to play as the theme of Laguna Beach, which led me to connect it with the beautiful beach vistas of coastal Orange County and being perpetually tan, rich, and taut in places where my body has long since been un-taut. (This made me keep it in my iTunes for far longer than I should have.)
Oh, I'm also blaming your mom, your sister, your boyfriend (do you guys share the same eyeliner? I've always wanted to ask you two that), your dentist who put those giant horse teeth in your mouth or anyone else that told EVER you that you could sing. Although, I'm not seeking monetary damages from them because they already have a special place in hell reserved for them.
So basically Hilary, you're really very lucky that I'm only asking you for 99 cents.
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2 comments:
As the mother of an 8-year-old Hilary FAN, I think Hilary and her flippin' mother owe me an apology. If I hear "Beat of my Heart" one more time my bedroom will look like yours and I won't have the fun of drinking it first! The only caveat I have is if Hil's mom will help me turn my daughter into a plastic money machine so I can live off of her and pretend to be young enough to flirt with all of those boys, too!
Why must people continue to try to act AND sing? Try being the key word. I don't get it.
hilary, ya bitch, give Tweets back her money.
Tweets, if i hear of you buying a Hilary song again we will have a long distance iTunes intervention for you. I don't care how beautiful those kids on Laguna Beach are. you must say no to hilary.
ps - isn't her boyfriend a little too cool for her? isn't everyone who didn't do a gum commercial with their sister cooler than her?
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