Sometimes when my brain hears, read, or sees something unusual it thinks that would make a totally fucking awesome band name. Today's totally fucking awesome band name: Wishful Psychosis. How hard do you think that band would rock? Twice as hard as Static Portal that's for sure.
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This weekend I am going to be getting a bed. A REAL. BED. The one I currently own was one of those I'm-in-college-I-am going-to find-the-cheapest-bed-I-can-find specials. And let's just say, you get what you pay for. It kinda sags in the middle so when more than one person is sleeping on it, both parties end up rolling towards each other throughout the night. If you're not dating it can end up pretty awkward in the morning. Anyways, I can't tell you how excited I am to be getting a new bed. It makes me feel like a real live ADULT. Because this is what adults do, right? We get excited about purchases like beds, cars, couches and loveseats. These kinda purchases serve as my trips to Disney World now. I hope I'm tall enough for the "Locked in 4.9% APR Financing," if not I'll just take a ride on the "30 Days Same As Cash!"
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This past weekend I became aware of a phenomenon I like to The Cross-Introduction of Friends. It occurs when you try to introduce two different groups of friends to each other. We all have our different groups of friends like your bestest group of friends, your drinking buddies, work friends, or the random group which could be folks you met in a yoga class/Tupperware party/blogosphere. In my case, my random group is people I know from the dog park. The Cross-Introduction of Friends can go either two ways: introducing a random friend to your close friends, or a close friend to a group of random people.
Random friend meeting your close group of friends goes a little like this:
"Hey everybody meet Random Friend. Random Friend this is Everybody, we are going to sit here and drink while laughing hysterically at inside jokes that we will not bother to explain to you because you won't get it. Random Friend, I hope you enjoy drinking by yourself."
Introducing a close friend to a group of random friends works a little different. There's this added pressure because you fear your good friend will take one look at your random friends and think to herself, good gawd your friend-making skills suck. Or that she will come up to you and say something like, "Hey, did you know Random Friend had a pot farm in his backyard/collects ceramic dolls/invited me to a swingers party?"
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Lately I've been getting in the elevator and forgetting to press the Lobby floor button. Sometimes I just sit there for like five minutes before I realize that, FUCK! I'm not moving. Other times the elevator starts to go down, but stops at a lower floor. When that person gets on the elevator and sees that the lobby button isn't pressed they look at me like, what a idiot. And then they sigh and make an exaggerated motion out of pushing the button. Like oh no, you had to expend an extra calorie to push the button, I should forever be in your debt. Please.
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While searching my work computer – I was making sure all the porn was gone, you know, just in case – I came across some random pictures that I thought I would share with you:
These are some of my Work Friends. Their Cross-Introduction is equally hard because there's all that venting and bitching about people that no one outside of the office cares about.
I never got around to doing a proper Halloween post, but I found these pictures that I was going to use. Nikki and I had the best costumes ever for the second year running - Mall Walkers.
Here's Nikki and I doing one of our many victory laps, the key was to not get the pace up too fast - you would hate to pull a muscle or something. Charlie went as Ernie, of Bert and Ernie fame. He shaved half his head, and died his hair black - that's dedication folks. And there might have been someone who ended up with orange paint all over her face because she could resist how cute Ernie looked.
For those of you who didn't believe this story. Here's some proof. Judging by the picture's shakiness,I would say this is one of the later ones.
Recently I have developed a bad habit of taking artsy fartsy photos while I'm out hanging with my friends. Because apparently I think I am just that cool.
Chuck sent me some pictures of My First Baby cathing some dog biscuits in mid air. And guess who taught him that trick? His momma, of course!
Okay, girls. Let's stop wearing gaucho pants. Now. The reason? They ride up your ASS! And me and the rest of the world have to sit there and stare at it. YOUR FUCKIN' ASS CRACK!
This picture is why I love Texas. I consider this woman a walking mullet. I;m sure from the front she's quite nice looking, but then you get to the back and it's like AAAAAAAH, Slut City. Tramp stamp? Check. Way too low rise pants? Check. Muffin top? Check. Hideous red thong "peeking" out? Check. Although, I'll give her credit for bringing the Gucci purse, you know, to class it up a bit.
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