The Obligatory (and much belated) Year in Review

I know we are four days deep into the New Year but I'm still feeling nostalgic about last year - the ole Aught Five.

So without further ado: The Best and Worst of 2005.

Best Moment– Watching the sunset atop the Hancock Tower in Chicago with my Dad. It was early April around the time that Chicago begins to awaken from the deep slumber of winter. I had been laid off from my first job about a month earlier. I was really starting to get depressed – it was hard to get off the couch, I didn't want to talk to anyone lest they find out I was a failure at my job (your usual pity party). And then my Dad showed and forced me to clean the apartment and get out and enjoy Chicago. And never once did he get all Dad on me and pressure me about when I was going to find gainful employment and such. He just took me around the town and I finally got to sightsee in the town I had called home for seven months. The trip ended with us high above downtown Chicago watching the sun go down and city come alive under the night sky. It was absolutely breathtaking. After that weekend things started looking up. I got my book together, found a job, and moved to Dallas all within the month.


Worst Moment– Clearly without a doubt March 9th, 4:43 p.m. I was called into a room with five other coworkers and told that I should no longer expect a "paycheck" from them. I was in shock because NOT TWO WEEKS prior I asked my boss if I was on the chopping block and he told me, NO WORRIES. I remember how awkward it felt to pack up my desk and walk out of there. I was 26, this was my first job out of school and I had only been there 6 months! There's no way I could be getting laid off, right? And when I left the building, some bum asked me for some spare change I retorted with, "I'm sorry sir I just lost my job, and my student loan grace period ends in two days and I don't have a steady paycheck which means I fear ending up on this corner with you. So no, I'm keeping all my spare change for myself." Afterwards, I did what any self respecting recently laid-off girl would do – I got drunk and experimented with crazy illicit drugs. By getting drunk I mean 3 beers, and by crazy illicit drugs I mean Tylenol PM because I had a wicked upper respiratory infection. Parrrr-tay! Looking back now I can say it was probably for the best. They were paying me chicken scratch and the people were just not my kind of peeps.

Most Ill-Timed Ironic Comment – After the axe had fallen on my old job the CFO says, "I know this is probably bad timing but this is the first time I've ever had to lay anyone off, how do you think I did?" Do you really want me to answer that one right now?

Most Debaucherous Moment – this one is tough. But I'm going to have to go with Laurel's wedding. Tying the knot with endless amounts of alcohol and friends equals a fucking fabulous time. I broke my thumb and several sangria glasses, read a speech during the ceremony and never vomited once.


Best Purchase – Lily. (I woulda said Romeo, but technically I didn't purchase him) She's made Charlie's leaving me (AGAIN) a little less heartbreaking. She loves to get her belly scratched and I love her cold nose kisses. I have the best conversations with her, and she agrees that Hilary Duff needs to repay me for buying her insipid song.

Best Album– Tough one because there wasn't a lot to love this year, but I think I will go with Guero from Beck. Gone are his wah wah wah days of Sea Change and back is pure Beck. Great spring into summer album.

What I Really Want to Say the Best Song is – Kelly Clarkson's Since U Been Gone. Because um yeah, when I hear this song (even now) I kick up the volume and rock the fuck out. Seriously, someone hurt Kelly real bad and she was all like oh no you di'int. The whole album is like my freshmen through sophomore years in college all wrapped up in 12 perfectly produced pop songs. But since the album technically cam out in 2004, she can't win best album.

Don’t you dare judge me.

PS I totally took what I said about Guero from Amazon.com and my friend Ted because I wanted to sound all smart and stuff, but in reality I have no clue about music. And I just couldn't come right out with Kelly Clarkson I would have totally lost my street cred.

Oh, and I really did love Guero.

Best Movie – I'm going to cop out like the Golden globes break this one down into categories.

- Best Movie Overall – March of the Penguins. I am literally livid I didn't insist on seeing this is in IMAX. There's hardship, there's an unconquerable love, there's adorable little fluffy baby penguins and don't forget Morgan Freeman. And to top it off it is so beautifully shot. Rent it, buy it, see it because this movie is so worth it.

- Best Movie That Made Me Nearly Piddle In My Chair from Laughing So Hard – The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Very funny, well-written dialogue, and a story that was at least plausible. And anyway, you know how I know you're gay? You listen to Coldplay.

- Best Tug At Your Heartstrings and Punch You in Your Throat Overly Sappy Movie – Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants. I bawled. Snot running, red puffy eye and hiccup inducing kind of bawling.

Best TV – Without a shadow of a doubt Grey's Anatomy. The boys are yummy and the girls are fabulous.

Best DVD Find – it's a tie between Space Camp (must send Max to outer space) and Watcher in the Woods (why in the world were we allowed to watch this in fourth grade?) Ain't nostalgia grand?

In Memoriam – H&M, Michigan Ave, culture, Michigan Lake, dependable public transportation, other people who don't own cars.