Christmas Break: The Picture Book

So I had this whole retrospective entry about 2005 ready to go, but unfortunately my brain was (is) not functioning properly at 7 a.m. today and I forgot all my notes about it. So instead I will commence with a photo essay detailing my holiday break. Photos will work much better than words, trust me.

(There are going to be a lot of pictures – more than 30 – let's see if this crashes Blogger. If you're on dial up you may want to turn back now.)


For the Christmas holiday I flew home to Tulsa for a couple of days, and unfortunately this meant I was going to have to kennel Lily for five whole days. So I bought her a bunch of toys before I left so she would continue to love me after I abandoned her (and mostly to appease my guilty guilty soul).



Here's Lily with her new and eventually doomed stuffed kitten. (and the fridge and the trash that Mom keeps forgetting to throw out.)




Lily wants you to know it was quick and nearly painless death and dismemberment.



She's all like, what kitten?



Anyway let's bring on the other cutie patootie babies in my life – my nephews.




This is Trey. He got a new tricycle and helmet for Christmas. He instantly fell in love with the helmet and wouldn't take it off. Ever.



Told you.



There is just too much scrumptious-ness in this picture for me to for me to describe.



You know what this entry needs? More helmet.



This is Joshua. It was his first Christmas. You know how I know?



Because the ornament says so.




We got him drunk and stoned and put him behind the wheel of a plastic Jeep. Aren't family traditions the best!




He is going to be the cutest gap-toothed hillbilly Kansas has ever seen. And if you've ever been to Kansas you know that's saying a lot.



Here we are gathered around the Christmas tree enjoying everyone's favorite Christmas movie – Independence Day.



And since I am a creative, here's my arty shot of the Christmas tree. (I am a walking cliché)


After the holiday I returned to Dallas, and guess who showed up too?




Hello, Lov-ah.



While Charlie was in Dallas we decided we would move the rest of my furniture/crap out of storage. Which turned my empty and depressing apartment into a disaster area.

I also made Charlie hang blinds and shelves. Which meant that I got to buy power tools and a laser level, and Charlie got to invent new cuss words. (And how cute was Handy Chuck? OH. MY. GOD. )

I have power tools, but no iron. Feminism rocks!



Lily enjoyed the new furniture, but secretly I think she questions my decorating tastes.



Seriously, this entry is turning into the Lifetime channel.



While Charlie lugged all my furniture up to my second floor apartment on one unseasonably 70 degree December day, I took pictures of the flowers I bought to make the Lov-ah's visit more romantic. (Charlie didn't notice the roses until I pointed them out to him) Here are some of the more impressive shots I took of them.







That last photo is begging to have "Footprints" embossed across it. Am I right or am I right?




This is after the last item has been moved. Got take a second here to drool over this man with his bulging muscles and his infinite patience and love for me. What a fox.



Here I am after the move. I look like I am fresh off the crack pipe. And I didn't lift a single thing.




People it doesn't get any better than this. We're laying on The Couch. Charlie has moved this couch going on five times now. Each time he says it's the last. This time after a long stretch of curse words he threatened to chainsaw it in half.

Not only did we move all my stuff, hang blinds, and hang shelves, but we also managed to watch the entire 4th Season of "24" on DVD. That's 24 hours of television folks – and a whole lot of not moving off The MOTHERFUCKING! STUPID PIECE OF SHIT! COCKHOLE! Couch.




And before you knew it, it was time to ring in the New Year.



He's so pretty.



Even the dudes want him.



Aren't sorority girls the hap-happiest group of bitches you know? Y'all it takes years of practice to be able to line up your hats, heads, and smiles on cue like that. We are professionals.



Sometime during the evening Elizabeth and I were abducted by aliens and they turned my face to a radioactive glowing shade of PALE. And gave me the ability to shoot laser beams from my face.



I know I have said this before, but the sign you're having a good time at a party? If something is spilled down the front of your shirt. Elizabeth seems to be caught in the tractor beam that my boobs give off. Usually it affects only creepy men at bars, but everyone has an off day.




And then Charlie had to leave and the break was over. And I'm officially the owner of a lonely heart again. AND a power drill.