Brrrr. It's Cold in Here.

I'm assuming Satan is enjoying his new ice skates since Hell has clearly frozen over - the University of texas has won a national championship in football. That's not nearly as suprising as the fact that Mack Brown has won a national championship in FOOTBALL. Whuuuuuuuut?!

I have to give up to texas though, after they beat Ohio State I told many of my texas friends that they were going to win it all. That just had that certain luck that accompanies national championship teams. Plus, it is my firm belief that it all starts with the quarterback. A good quarterback can carry a team through tough games, but a great quarterback can move USC sized mountains. OUr year we had Heupel, and this year they had Young.

I am the biggest University of Oklahoma football fan ever, and by mandate I am supposed to detest all things burnt orange and given what USuCk did to us last year in the Orange Bowl I don't think I need to remind anyone of the Hot Hate I reserve for those tools. So you could say watching last night's game was a little like sitting in the dentist's chair, mouth agape and stuffed full of cotton, waiting to get the bad news about your cavities. You know you have them, and you know there's going to be novacaine shots followed that incessant drilling and drooling. But you have no choice but to sit there and watch and wallow in the unpleasantness. (And maybe hope that you're abducted by aliens)

All in all, I'm happy for texas (oh, I just threw up a little in my mouth) and texas fans (oh, I just threw up a lot in my mouth). I hope y'all enjoy it. I know I did in 2000. (Remind me to tell you the trip to the 2000 Orange Bowl sometime) And don't get too cocky about it because it hurts when you fall from grace. Real bad.

Okay enough football.

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So seriously, you would not believe what happened to me last night. As I was lying in bed thinking how thrilled the folks in Hell must be with their new ice water (get it? GET IT? Hell froze over! Okay, enough sorry), I hear a bunch of sirens headed my way. I'm not a stranger to hearing sirens after living in urban areas for the last couple of years. And since my apartment is situated in between a stretch of road with a lot of bars and some shady shady neighborhoods, I thought nothing of it. Until the sirens kept coming and coming. I hear rubber squealing, revving engines, and not to mention a couple of impacts. It sounds like they are filming Dukes of Hazzard right outside my apartment. I leap from my bed, and exclaim HIGH SPEED PO-LICE (pronounced pooo-leeeese because I'm southern) CHASE.

I run over to my bedroom window, pull down the blinds in time to see a cop car catching air through the intersection and landing with burst of sparks from underneath his cruiser. Holy SHIT, that was AWE. SOME. I thinking to myself, man I wonder where the chase is going to end as I slowly panned my head to the left and? HOLY GUACOMOLE! Not two hundred yards from my apartment building is where!

So I grabbed my pajamas and coat and ran out of my apartment to do what any red blooded American would do - GAWK. There was a little Honda Civic (who out runs the cops in a Civic?!) that appeared to try take the corner too fast and ended up in the median, mowing down two street signs in the process. I counted at least 13 cars.

Then the neighbors came out, and since I hate socializing with neighbors I went back inside. But as I tried to go back to sleep I kept wondering what was that guy (or girl in all fairness) running from?

So, I invite of you to tell what you think it was.

I'll start. I think they were running from clowns trying to force feed him laxatives, that and the meth.