The Party Bus of Lame Asses

Open Letter to the Fuckwits who wanted to throw down at the bar last night,

Here's a couple things to remember before you try to start a fight:

1. We do not wear our shirts on our shoulders. Even before the fight starts you've already lost. You derserve to have you ass kicked on these grounds ALONE. Oh, and tell your friends to put their collars down. Dorks.

2. "How much do you bench press?" has never and will never be a respected comeback, threat, or witty retort. By using it you have clearly pointed out to me just how small your penis really is. On a side note, I presume the only proper way to use this is as an ice breaker at a gym. Between homosexuals.

3. Don't act all big and tough, and then when the cops arrive completely change you tune. If you're Billy McBad Ass touting that you could kill anyone of us whilst asking the bar patrons if they would like a piece of you, then don't become William from Accounting the second the cops show up. Pansy. Street credibility? Gone.

4. Futhermore, as was duly noted by a member of my party, why are you having a bachelor's party on a Thursday? Dweebs.

5. Yes, as a matter of fact your teeth are too white.


Yours Truly,

Tweets and crew


PS Your face looks like a penis.

Take that, ha.