What about Lil Romeo?

No, no not Master P’s son/rapper/actor. What about my little Romeo?

Well, first things first he’s not so little anymore. Check the progress y'all.

Romeo at 3 Months
Romeo at 5 months

The dog is now the largest dog I have ever owned. He’s coming in at 27.8 lbs. And the vet is putting him at forty to fifty pounds full grown. And seeing as he takes up three-fourths of the bed right now, I’m frightened to think of how it’s going to be in a couple of months.

Also we have begun taking him to the dog park. Or as I like to call it high school with poop bags. (or maybe that’s just high school) And PS the dog park is the clique-iest place I have ever seen. And folks, I was in a sorority.

First you have the cool kids, with their Labs and Golden Retrievers. To find them just follow the tennis balls or other various squeaky object flying through the air. Their dogs are usually the ones running around aimlessly knocking over the small children. Which is fun for a laugh, but also very tacky.

Then there’s the “I’m so cool because my dog is unusual” Great Dane and Weimaraner Club. This is the group of people who wanted to own a dog that no one had ever seen so they went the highly “unusual” Great Dane or Weimaraner. Funny, that there’s like ten of both of these breeds walking around the dog park at any given time.

And of course, don’t forget the “Dog people.” They are the reason that dog parks came into existence, and they aren’t going to let you forget it. They bring their own chairs, and they sit in a large circle to claim the best spot in the park (and only shade) for themselves. It’s very hard to get into their inner circle. They spend most of the time talking organic dog food or doggie spas – because, you know, it’s only the best for Mr. Tuffy McScuttlebottoms – Prince of the Fancy Pants. They are there every day. They let their dogs kiss them on the lips after four plus hours sniffing dog butts. They are quite literally the soccer moms of dog world.

Then you have everybody else, who much like in high school, are just walking around with our heads down trying to not get noticed. Most of them are guilt ridden twentysomethings who are looking for the quick way wear their dogs out. They all kind of walk around with this stunned look on their faces like did you know dogs were this much work? The goal of everyone in this group is to get in and get out as quickly as possible. They’re not really looking to make friends. Clearly, these are my people.

Now if only Romeo understood the rules of the park. You see, Romeo’s favorite thing to do is to find one and only one dog and gnaw at it for the ENTIRE. TIME. This means my time at the dog park is spent finding all about who the owner of the dog that Romeo is trying to fit inside his mouth. Romeo’s nasty habit is always met with the same scornful look, that says to me, listen I brought my dog to jump to play to run, I didn’t come here for my dog to get covered in your dog’s drool.

Oops. Sorry about that.

Finally Romeo's chosen dog will get fed up with Romeo chew chew chewing on its neck, and retaliate by kicking Romeo’s ass. Romeo gets scared and takes off at hundred miles an hour to find refuge in between someone’s legs. And of course those legs are never mine. Which means? Hi, I have to introduce myself to you too because my dog is a quivering mass of drool covered jelly underneath your legs, pleased to meet you.

This happens ad nauseum until people see Romeo coming, and pick up their dogs to head in the other direction.

But do realize the dog park isn’t all good times . The park has its dangers. For example, molestation runs rampant. And Romeo might as well have Barely Legal written in bold right across his forehead. He sends all the pervert dogs into a tissy. I can’t count the number of times that he’s been humped. Poor guy was deflowered and gang banged in the same day. All of it leads to some awkward morning-after glances. Like hey, you’re dog pounded Romeo into the ground for an hour straight, but it's not awkward no, no. Definitely. Not. Awkward. (Not that Romeo minded because at the time he was probably turning an innocent mutt into a rawhide chew.)

Plus you always run the risk of running into Talkie McTalkerson. She lives at our apartment complex, and as her name indicates she’s a talker. And I enjoy talking to her about as much as I enjoy getting a paper cut. On my toe. Charlie says she’s not that bad, but then again he could have a conversation with a wall. She’s supa annoying to me because EVERY time I talk to her she has some sort of stupid advice (better known as assvice) to give me. For example she’ll ask me a simple question like:


Talkie: What are you feeding you dog?

Me: Dry food.

Talkie: What? Just dry food? OMIGOD! OMIGOD! Your dog is going to DIE a long horrible death if you don’t start feeding him some canned food at once. You’re so lucky I told you in time.

You’re right, I am so lucky. Now if you don’t mind I have to go yell my dog’s name over and over while he ignores me, and continues to devour some poor puppy’s hind quarters. That way I can get looks from all the cool people and their cool dogs like, how dare you bring a dog here that isn’t trained.

I hate high school.

Now here are some pics of the growing boy. (I will update with some from the dog park when I get home.) Now then, are you ready for this much cuteness?

Romeo has the longest legs I have ever seen, when he stretches out he becomes like three times his size. I’m afraid all the dogs at the dog park are calling him long legged freaky dog boy behind his back.





I tried to tell you that you were indeed not ready for this much cuteness.




I just took away his new favorite thing. My dirty underwear. That’s right, nothing is more disgusting than to walk into a room and find your dog munching on your dirty panties. And every time I take them away he acts like I just ripped out his little heart. I blame all his deviant behavior on the dog park, he is clearly hanging out with the wrong crowd.