If you were wondering what I have been up to – and I know you all care - you came back at the right time because folks? I am gonna go all month-long-update on that ass, right about now.
First off, work? Has me by my proverbial balls. We have been so busy around here lately. My typical day looks like: get up, work for ten hours, go home, take the dog to the dog park, return home, cook dinner, pass out on couch after attempting to watch 2.2 minutes of a movie. Repeat ad nauseum.
But I'm not going to let that get me down. Oh no.
Now then, we can get to the excitement. The first weekend of September, Charlie and I went to the first game of the OU football season. Known now as the first and LAST football game Charlie will be attending, for he is clearly bad luck. We lost the game in smashing fashion to a team that wears purple. PURPLE. (And you think it's just a coincidence that Tom and Katie are having a baby? No, God is seriously pissed at the world) That Saturday, Charlie was invited into my family's inner circle and summarily banned from it in the span of four hours. Tough break, but you gotta cut the weak ones loose.
Also Romeo made his first trip to Tulsa. Romeo loves to ride in the car. There's an endless supply of things to look at, and usually the ride ends some place where Romeo has never peed before which to him equals a huge bonus. Lately when Charlie and I ride in the car with Romeo we roll down one window in the back and he hangs his head out of it and there is much joy in the world. Eventually he becomes bored with the one side and we have to roll down the other window so he can see a Whole New World. He goes back and forth and back and forth, loving it all the while. Except when I played our new game on this particular car ride I had a wee lapse of concentration (because you know there's a road and I have to pay attention to it and stuff) and OH! NO! I rolled up the wrong window, and Romeo's head paid the price. Had we been on a playground at the time, all the other dogs would have totally been making fun of him. Because he screams like a little girl. After I released him from the crazy window of death he shot me with hot laser beams from his eyes. His payback was his favorite game where he lets the car get very, very quiet allowing me to drift off in thought and wait for it, wait for it – now unleash The Bark With All The Barking Loudness Of A Bark That Was Not Expected. And then I scream like a little girl.
When Romeo arrived in Tulsa, he was greeted warmly by my mom's dog P.B. And by warmly I mean, with lots of growling and chomping. P.B. pulled me aside later and lamented that he couldn't handle it if I started bringing "babies" home with me too. The two nephews/grandchildren who visited were almost too much for him to handle. As for the Mom and Marv's other dog, Ricki, she would have been less scared if I had dropped an F-4 tornado on her. She spent most of the weekend being spooked out of her gourd (because she can't hear worth a lick) when Romeo would come up behind her to play. Their cat? Well he just flipped me off and went about his weekend. Romeo didn't mind the cold reception from everyone because every time he turned the corner there was a new treat to eat. Within ten minutes of being there he had found every one of P.B's "hidden" bones, plus all the secret stockpiles of Milkbones®. And Sweet Jesus! all those Beggin' Strips. He ate everything he could find. And Grandma spoiled him just like he was P.B., everytime I saw Romeo and my mom in the same room he was getting another treating from her. (For three days after we got back from Tulsa he laid down the largest poops I have ever seen.) And then there this wonder that apparently called The Backyard. When Romeo discovered The Backyard there was a lot of leaping and bounding followed by more leaping and more bounding. My dog has never had so much fun.
Then came the weekend that will be known as weekend of The Most Anticipated Contract Termination of 2005. I flew to Chicago to pack up and leave the Money Draining Apartment behind. Just in case you didn't know this is what is like to have movers move your stuffit goes something a little like this:
Pack
Re-pack only with more bubble wrap
Ask for Saturday pick up
Be told to expect Friday morning
Request Saturday instead
Be laughed at
Watch movers re-pack everything
Watch movers charge for moving supplies needed to re-pack
Be convinced that movers are making fun of you in Spanish
Hurry back to Dallas, delusional that stuff will arrive in two or three days
Wait for five days, with no stuff
Learn move is 500 bucks over estimate
Cry because you barely had enough to cover the estimate
Tell movers they need to drop off stuff before 6:30 pm
Be told to expect my stuff sometime around 6:45 pm
Request earlier time
Be laughed at
Cry some more
Lift and haul my own stuff that I am paying 500 bucks over the estimate to have movers lift and haul for me
Note the sound of broken glass in every box
Pay for move by handing over first born child in the form of 2200 cash
So needless to say, moving was a joy. But hey, I'm officially in Dallas. Yeah! I guess.
The next Saturday I returned to Norman (sans Charlie) to try this whole football thing over again. This time I figured the best way thing I could do was to get drunk. Plenty drunk. Not surprisingly, I wasn't worried about the outcome of the game by about beer three. I was dancing in the aisle by beer four. With the drinking, the dancing and the actual winning of a football game I eventually did a bad thing. That bad thing being elbowing (accidentally!) Meanie McMeanerson in the back of the head. She was very pissed because she had hoped to attend the football game without all the football-gamey stuff. So receiving an Excited! elbow to the head literally sent over the edge. She spent the rest of game hating me with Hot Hate.
But you guys, look at what she wore to a football game. I should have taken her down with a pile driver for those paisleys ALONE.
Which brings us to now. Whew. We're all updated. And don't worry it won't be another month before I update again.
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